Odd Situations
by Wafflegirl0304
Summary: A series of oneshots about strange, random things happening on the Bounty. Each chapter focuses on a specific ninja so...yeah. Made of boredom, stupidity, randomness and words. You have been warned! Btw, I hope this at least makes you smile. :D
1. Chapter 1: Did You Know?

**535 words of pure stupidity and randomness. xD Flame away, guys! I hope this makes you smile! :) And maybe learn a thing or two...anyway review guys! xD**

"Haha! In your FACE, Cole!" Jay cheered, jumping up from his spot on the floor. He laughed manically.

Cole and Jay were playing video games in the game room. The ninja had acquired a new game, and Cole had bet Jay five dollars he wouldn't be able to beat him on the first try.

Cole rolled his eyes and hesitantly reached into his pocket. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Here's your five bucks," he muttered, fishing out five dollar bills. Jay grabbed them, did a fist pump and collapsed into a nearby beanbag.

"Thanks Cole." he said, his voice muffled.

The dark haired-ninja shook his head and sighed.

Suddenly the door swung open and Kai walked in with a blank expression on his face. Zane came in after him, frowning.

"What's up, guys?" Cole asked.

"There's something wrong with Kai," Zane answered, concerned.

"We knew that already," Jay said, looking up. His response was a game controller thrown at his face. "Ow!"

"How wrong?" Cole raised an eyebrow.

"Coca-Cola was originally green." Kai droned. "It is possible to lead a cow upstairs but not downstairs. A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why."

For a moment nobody spoke. Cole got up and slapped Kai in the face, but the fire ninja had no reaction.

"111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321," he grinned.

"HOW IS THAT EVEN A NUMBER!?" Jay shouted, his head exploding comically before reforming itself.

"On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year." Kai giggled.

"This is wrong." Cole murmured, exchanging weirded out glances with Zane. "Did you ask Sensei for help?"

"Yes, he cannot comprehend this," the ice ninja replied.

"Elephants can't jump. Every other mammal can. The letters of the alphabet in order of frequency of use are: ETAISONHRDLUCM—"

Jay jumped up and slapped his hand over Kai's mouth. "NOBODY CARES!" he yelled.

"The first word spoken on the moon was 'Okay'," Kai said, his voice muffled.

Jay blinked. "Okay maybe that one was interesting but still..."

"Guys! Guys! Guys!" Lloyd called, dashing into the room. "I know why Kai's acting so weird!"

"Why?" the three ninja asked in unison.

"Two out of three people sleep on their sides, and they're about equally divided as to WHICH side. Of the remainder, slightly more sleep on their stomachs than sleep on their backs." Kai giggled again.

"There has been a major disturbance in the ship," Lloyd said, ignoring him. "What happened in the last ten minutes?"

"I gave Jay five dollars for winning a bet," Cole shrugged.

"What? I wanna keep my five dollars," Jay whined.

"It might be the only way to reverse this," Zane urged. "Give the money back to Cole,"

"But—"

"DO IT." Zane's voice turned demonic and his eyes turned a crimson red.

Jay's eyes widened as he pulled out the five bucks and threw them at Cole. Instantly, Kai fell backwards.

"Ugh...what happened?" he asked, sitting up and rubbing his head.

"Awww," Jay sighed.

"Yay," Cole rolled his eyes again. "Now can we continue with our lives?"

"What happened?" Kai asked again.

"WOLVERINES!" Lloyd screamed before running out of the room.

The ninja glanced at each other before sweatdropping animatedly.

Kai got up and went to play video games with Jay. Cole went to eat cake. Zane went to build a pie maker.

The end.

**So the moral of the story is...don't take Cole's money? Don't make bets with Cole? :D I dunno. Anyway hope you guys enjoyed! (If you could...) Please review! I'm doing a chapter for each ninja and the next one will probably be either Cole or Jay :)**

**Oh, and I got those facts from www . m00cow007 . tripod . com. All credit for Kai's random facts go to them! **


	2. Chapter 2: Backwards

**Okay..I let my imagination run a little too wildly... O_o anyway thank you for the reviews! Never imagined this would get so many in two hours! (Okay not that many but whatever) ENJOY GUYS! This made me laugh.**

"Iak! Iak! Iak!" Jay shouted as he ran through the halls of the Bounty. He bumped into Kai, who stared at him in complete confusion.

"Jay, what the bliz?" he asked.

"Mi gniklat sdrawkcab dna tnac pots!" he exclaimed.

"What?" Kai backed away. Jay grabbed his shoulders and shook him hard.

"Enaz dellips emos ffuts no em, dna won I klat ekil siht!" he roared.

"Jay, I don't understand a word you're saying," Kai shook his head.

"What he's trying to say is," Zane said, coming up to them, "is that I accidentally spilled some chemicals on him while I building the pie maker from the last chapter."

"Wait, why would you—" Kai asked.

"FOURTH WALL BREAKING! DANG IT! FOURTH WALL BREAKING!" Cole shrieked as he dashed past them.

"The chemical reaction caused him to be able to communicate only like this," he said, completely ignoring Kai and Cole. "Backwards,"

"Haey, dna sti gnionna," Jay groaned.

"Maybe it would be better if you wrote down stuff?" Kai asked. "Then we can rearrange the letters and figure out what you're saying,"

Jay nodded. Suddenly a blank piece of paper and a pencil flew into his face. He narrowed his eyes and looked up at the sky.

"Tahw saw taht rof!?" he asked.

"Sorry," a feminine voice replied from nowhere.

"FOURTH WALL BREAKING! FOURTH WALL BREAKING! AHHH!" Cole screamed again while running past them.

Still ignoring Cole, Jay scribbled some stuff on the paper and showed it to Kai.

"You want to play video games?" he asked. The brownish-red haired nodded eagerly, and the two went into the game room. Zane went to finish whatever he was doing. Cole kept screaming his head off. And Lloyd was busy getting candy.

"I teb lli taeb uoy ta oediv semag niaga, neve htiw siht diputs hceeps gniht," Jay bragged.

Kai gritted his teeth. "Dude, you're doing this on purpose, aren't you?"

"Puy,"

They started playing the game. Suddenly the TV exploded and the wood on the walls began to fade away, revealing huge pictures of rainbows and kittens under the panels.

"Do you think that game was rigged?" Kai asked.

"Ebyam," Jay shrugged.

The exploded TV sprouted legs and jumped out of the window, brutally crashing to the ground below.

Kai and Jay looked at each other.

"Man, what is with these strange happenings?" Kai asked.

"On aedi," Jay replied. "Annaw og tae Eolc's ekac?"

"What?"

The piece of paper smacked into Jay's face again and he growled. "LLIW UOY POTS GNIOD TAHT!?" he yelled.

The feminine voice came again. "Sorry! How else am I supposed to give you the paper in a funny way that will suit this story?"

"FOURTH WALL BREAKING!" Cole shouted, bursting into the room and throwing a pillow at Kai before collapsing to the floor.

Still still ignoring poor Cole, Jay wrote on the paper and showed it to Kai, who nodded.

"Yeah, sure. He's passed out anyway."

The two ninja walked out, carefully avoiding the fainted Cole. The writer decided to take pity on him, and revived him and told him Kai and Jay were about to eat his cake.

"FOURTH WALL BREAKING—oh, wait what!? I'M GONNA CRUSH THEIR FACES!" he proclaimed before running after Jay and Kai, holding his scythe. "PREPARE TO DIE!"

"OH NO!" Kai and Jay yelled. Then Kai said, "Hey Jay, you got your voice back!"

"Yeah yeah whatever let's just RUN!" Jay screamed before taking off down the hall.

The three of them crashed out the window and landed in Marshmallow Land. Suddenly Cole's cake landed on his head and he started eating cake-covered marshmallows instead. Kai ate the marshmallows like a normal dude while Jay used them as flying hats.

Then Marshmallow Land disappeared and the ninja were teleported back to the Bounty, clean and normal, but with monkeys eating their hair. Kai's hair had whipped cream on it, Jay's was covered in chocolate sauce, and Cole's had sprinkles on it.

"This is all kinds of weird," Kai murmured.

"Yup," Cole said.

"Couldn't agree more," Jay twitched.

"ORANGUTANS!" Lloyd cried, busting down the door and falling on his face on the floor.


	3. Chapter 3: Computer Virus

**Not as funny, but oh well :P Yeah, I wrote this in about an hour. Enjoy guys! And thank you all for reviewing! *hands out free cookies, because waffles are too mainstream***

Zane lay on a table, staring blankly up at the ceiling. He was strapped down and couldn't move. Somewhere in the background, Gangnam Style was playing and Slithraa, Mezmo and Skales were dancing to it. But Zane paid them no attention.

Garmadon came up to Zane, an evil grin on his face. "Soon, I will have a new ninja recruit," he whispered.

"You will never be able to reprogram me! You're too unintelligent!" Zane cried.

"Oooh, BURN!" Mezmo snickered.

"Shut up!" Garmadon said. He opened Zane's chest panels and began to switch the wires and stuff. In reality, he had no idea what he was doing.

Suddenly Cole swooped in and BAM! Instant Garmadon death. Okay, not death, but unconsciousness.

"Hey look, Zane's control panel has random colourful wires now," Cole said. He didn't know what it meant, but at the time he didn't really care.

Jay and Kai then walked in and helped to free Zane. But the nindroid had something different about him. He looked pretty impatient. And his eyes were disco-ish.

Nah, I'm kidding.

"FREAKING FOURTH WALL BREAKING!" Cole yelled randomly, getting stares from the people in town.

"Dudeyou'regonnaattractunwantedattent ion!Shutup!" Zane said.

"Whoa! Did Zane just talk squeakily, rudely, and really fast?" Kai asked.

"I'm gonna have to take a look at his control panel later," Jay facepalmed.

**Later in the game room...**

Zane was running around the room like a headless chicken. Jay was chasing him. Kai and Cole stood there like idiots.

"Guys! Will you come and help me for a sec?" Jay asked, exasperated.

"We're too busy not caring," Kai said.

"Fine, I'll help you," Cole groaned. He took out a toy falcon from nowhere and held it out. Zane grabbed it, sat down and began using it to stab Kai. Thankfully the thing was soft so Kai was left unstabbed.

"Quit it," Kai said.

"No," Zane stuck his tongue out like a kid.

"QUIT. IT." Kai growled.

"Owyouburnedme!Preparetodie!" Zane screamed.

"Hey! That's my line!" Cole yelled.

"Oooh, BURN!" Mezmo said, walking into the room. As soon as he did, Friday by Rebecca Black started playing.

Everyone freaked out, and pushed Mezmo out of the room. The music instantly stopped.

"Looks like Zane has a computer virus that makes him hyperactive, gangsterish and slightly evil." Jay said.

"LLAMASRULETHEWORLD!" Zane shrieked and burst through the wall.

"Insanity," Kai muttered. "I'm going to take a nap,"

"NO!" Zane roared, coming back. "YOUAIN'TGONNATAKENONAPDUDE!"

The fire ninja took a nap anyway, which again led to Zane stabbing him with the toy falcon. Cole and Jay went back to Marshmallow Land after hearing that it had reappeared.

In the next ten minutes, Zane recruited an army of lollipops and sent them to take over the tea shop. They won and Mystake was sent away. Sensei went into a state of depression due to tea withdrawal.

Nya came into the room, hit Zane with a wrench, and walked away. He frowned.

"Why am I holding a toy falcon?" he asked.

"Oh yay, you're back to normal," Kai yawned, getting up.

"Why..." Sensei moaned.

"THE MARSHMALLOWS ARE EVIL!" Jay and Cole exclaimed.

"How so?" Kai asked.

"Well, I was using one as a flying hat like I did last chapter—OH SHUT UP COLE!—and it started to eat my arm." Jay said, holding up his arm, which had small bite marks all over it.

"And guess what? The monkeys came and began eating our clothes this time!" Cole raged. "They said they tasted better than the hair! MY HAIR IS SUPPOSED TO TASTE AWESOME!"

"Hey, not everyone can have great-tasting hair," Kai shrugged.

"Hey guys I just invented a potion that will make everyone's hair taste like gummy bears and bananas and other random yummy things!" Nya said, coming back into the room.

They all tried it and ended up fainting from the horrible taste of the potion before their hair became awesome-tasting. Then the monkeys came and took over the Bounty.

"We shall rule the world!" Monkey 1 screamed.

"KILL IT WITH FIYAH!" Kai shrieked, burning every monkey with his sword before he passed out again.

"FLAMINGOES!" Lloyd shouted and went to hug the TV.

The end.

**I would have made Jay's arm more bloody and stuff, but this is rated K plus so NO! XD**


	4. Chapter 4: This Poem Really Really Sucks

Once there was a dude named Cole

What his last name was, we'll never know

He went to a store and bought some milk

But dripped some on his ninja suit made of silk

He asked Zane to help him wash it off

But the nindroid ended up with a cough

He then went to Lloyd to get some help

Who told him to go and eat some kelp

Kai came over and yelled in his face

Which made Cole's heart shatter all over the place

Nah I'm just kidding! His heart can't do that

Though if it could, I'd give it a hat

My phone corrected "hat" to "jay"

So he's the guy Cole's gonna bug today

Cole went to Jay and asked, "Your name?"

Jay stared and replied, "You are insane."

Cole shook his head and said, "No, I'm Cole. I must know your name, it is my role."

Jay shrugged and said, "Well you should know, we've been friends for more than six months in a row!"

"If you don't tell me I'll tickle you," Cole growled like the boss that he was too.

The author got sick of this stupid rhyme

It was taking up lots of her valuable time

Plus she was starting to get writer's block

Which sucks more than this poem, not a lot.

Cole then went to Marshmallow Land

He ate everything and cut off his hand

Again, I am kidding. I'm marshmallow high.

No seriously, I just ate about ten of them *sigh*

Next chapter's gonna be the real deal

About Cole and how he's not a seal.

He just tried to steal my nachos

Ha! He thinks that he's so tough and macho-s!

I just rhymed that with no skill at all

I should probably go, before someone named Paul

Comes after me for writing this rubbish thing

And then having the courage to be posting

It

Yeah that was lame, you don't have to tell me

See ya'll next time, my homie.

**NOT REALLY COLE'S CHAPTER XD AND YEAH...I WAS ON MARSHMALLOWS! Review guys! I don't really have anything planned for Cole's chappie yet though :3**


	5. Chapter 5: So Funny That It's Not

**Kai: Hello and welcome to another chapter of Odd Situations!**

**Jay: Where every chapter is full of cr—**

**Cole: CAKE! :D**

**Zane: *backs away slowly***

**Me: NO ZANE DON'T GO! *glomps him***

**Kai: *sniffs* I thought you liked me! T.T**

**Me: Well yeah. But my OC is already with you, and Zane's my second fav.**

**Zane: Why is Naoko not in this story?**

**Me: Cuz she would mess things up.**

**Naoko: D:**

**Kai: *hugs her* Geez Nat, you're so mean.**

**Me: I'm just kidding! Remember? The marshmallows, dude?**

**Kai: Oh yeah. *throws sock***

**Jay: Anyway...we're wasting time here... -.-**

**Cole: I have the least lines in this unnecessarily long author's note! :P**

**Naoko: No, I do. C:**

**Cole: Oh yeah. I just had one more than you :3**

**Naoko: *sweatdrops***

**Me: Yay for author powers! :D Enjoy guys! Thank you all for all the reviews! *hands out virtual marshmallows, butter cookies, waffles and chocolate-chip cookies***

**Zane: I made all of those.**

**Cole: READ! NAO!**

It was Friday. Zane had finally finished building the pie maker from Chapter 1.

"Hey guys! Would you like to try my pie maker?" Zane asked excitedly.

"Does it make pies?" Kai asked. Cole smacked him in the face with a pillow.

"Duh!"

Jay pressed a button that read, "Make Pie" on the pie maker. Another button flashed under it, saying, "Flavour?"

"I'll have blueberry," Jay grinned.

"NO." the pie maker said.

Jay was creeped out and ran away. Kai said, "I'll have chocolate?"

"Yeah sure," the pie maker said cheerily. In a matter of seconds, a freshly baked pie dinged out.

"I WILL NEVA ABANDON MY CAKE! I WILL BE LOYAL TO IT FOREVER!" Cole screamed to the heavens. Zane facepalmed and shoved a slice of pie into Cole's mouth.

Cole's eyes became big and shiny and sparkly. 18 rainbows appeared over his head and a spotlight shone down on him. Cole smiled widely.

"This is the best burrito I've ever eaten! Yum yum yum!" he sang.

"Dude, it's a pie." Kai pointed out.

"Yeah but that doesn't fit in with the song so SHUT UP!" Cole said, all Smosh-like. Kai shrugged, took two pieces of the pie and walked away.

"Here Jay, take a slice," he offered.

"NO! THE PIE IS EVIL AND ITS GONNA KILL MEE!" Jay whined. Kai threw the slice at him like a boss and with such skill that it landed in his mouth. The same thing that happened to Cole earlier happened to Jay.

"THIS IS THE BEST PIE IN THE HISTORY OF GREAT PIES!" he proclaimed. "I'm gonna go eat it at Marshmallow Land!"

The lightning ninja jumped out the window and landed in Marshmallow Land. Kai just walked away. Cole continued to sing the burrito song. Zane opened his arm panel, stuck in his earphones, and began to listen to music.

Suddenly, a hole was ripped in the dimension that separates space and time! Zane, Cole and Kai were all sucked in screaming.

They were soon floating in a tye-dye coloured place, with random foods and jellybeans all floating around.

"YOU!" A huge chocolate cake came over and boomed in their faces.

Zane stared, Kai glared, and Cole dared.

He dared to ask, "What?"

The cake said, "COLE, BY MOVING ON FROM LOVING CAKE TO LOVING PIE, YOU HAVE RIPPED A HOLE IN SPACE AND TIME, WHICH WILL RESULT IN THE DESTRUCTION OF THE UNIVERSE!"

"Why does everything I do end up completely messing up the world or something?" Cole muttered. "It's not fair."

"IT IS SO FAIR THAT IT ISN'T," the cake laughed evilly. "NOW, YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE ME!" *fluttershy style*

"AAAAAH!" Cole shouted as the cake glomped him. Kai and Zane exchanged glances.

"So...why are we here?" Kai asked.

"EAT US," a few pies and tarts and other things said, coming to them. The two ninja screamed and ran for their lives.

Meanwhile, Jay came back to the Bounty and noticed the rip in space and time.

"Cool, it's like somebody tore the page that we aren't even on," he stated.

Suddenly Kai, Cole and Zane all tumbled out of the tear, which closed itself with scotch tape and glue. Cole was covered in chocolate, Kai had pie all over him, and Zane was drenched in soda.

Jay's eyes widened. "A walking sugar buffet! Awesome!"

"NO!" Kai, Zane and Cole yelled, running away with Jay following them.

"SEALS!" Lloyd declared.

"I AM NOT A SEAL!" Cole called.

"I like trains," the I Like Trains Guy said. A train ran over everyone.

The end.

**Me: LOL nope! Here's Cole and Kai singing Safety Torch!**

**Cole: Seriously?**

**Kai: :D**

**Kai:**

**Look at little Cole Cole, sleeping so soundly**

**WAKE UP COLEY! WHAT IF THERE'S A MONSTER!? D:**

**Don't be scared Coley or he'll eat you**

**Monsters smell fear, lucky for you**

**I've got a SAFETY TORCH!**

**Put it on your porch**

**It's a SAFETY PORCH!**

**Put it in the hallway**

**SAFETY TORCH!**

**Scare the monsters away**

**SAFETY TORCH!**

**That'll be fifty bucks**

**Cole:**

**But my house is on fire :/**

**Kai:**

**(Because I set it on fire *evil grin*)**

**Shhhh...**

**Cole, Cole, things are looking grim, grim**

**But lucky for you, you**

**I have come with a solution!**

**It's your lucky day**

**SAFETY WATER!**

**Put it in a bucket!**

**SAFETY WATER!**

**Pour it on the fire! (That I started)**

**SAFETY WATER!**

**Maybe make a bubble bath!**

**SAFETY WATER!**

**First one's on the house!**

**Cole:**

***laughs nervously* I see what you did there. First one's on the house.**

**Kai:**

**Haha yeah. That took quite a few though, so that plus all the safety torches...let's just call it 500 bucks.**

**Cole:**

**I don't have 500 bucks! T.T**

**Kai:**

**That's okay, I'll bill your parents. Nice doing business with you. Go back to sleep, kid. Have a good night.**

**Cole:**

**My parents are gonna kill me...**

**Me: Please...**

**Jay: Review!**

**Zane: Fave and follow too!**

**Lloyd: Did you know that rhymes?**

**All: YES!**


	6. Chapter 6: Teh Legend of Zelda Ish Good

**Me: Two things: 1) This doesn't focus on a ninja, and 2) this has lots of Legend of Zelda references. And it's not really that funny.**

**Jay: Isn't that three things?  
**

**Kai: Waffle thanks you all for your awesome reviews! :D You guys rock, thanks for liking her stupidity!**

**Lloyd: Review!**

"Hey." Cole said.

"Listen." Jay said.

"Hey." Kai said.

"Listen." Zane said.

"Hey." Sensei Wu said.

"Listen." the falcon said.

"Hey." Nya said.

"PINEAPPLES!" Lloyd screamed.

"Hey." Misako said.

"Listen." Mystake said.

"Why are we all acting like Navi from The Legend Of Zelda?" Lloyd asked.

"Hey. No idea." Kai said.

"I'm gonna end my sentences with 'in your face' for the rest of this chapter starting from the next thing I say." Cole announced.

"Alright," Jay nodded.

"So what are we doing today?" Lloyd asked. A piece of paper smacked into Cole's face and he narrowed his eyes, but didn't comment.

He skimmed through the paper and said, "Well, Lloyd's supposed talk normally without using any adverbs or adjectives in your face. Like, he censors them out in your face."

Kai laughed. "That sounds seriously weird. The in your face thing."

"Whatever in your face," Cole smirked. "Me likes it, in your face."

"Well okay," Lloyd said. "Sounds **bloop**, but I'll do it,"

"Anything else?" Kai asked.

"The author is trying to think of some ideas now." Zane noted.

"Wanna go back to Marshmallow Land?" Jay asked, nudging Zane.

"Nah," he replied.

"Awww," Jay sighed.

"I'm **bloopy beep** the audience is getting **blah**," Lloyd groaned. "Can I have a banana?"

"Let's have some fun with memes in your face," Cole suggested.

"I used to do that," Kai shrugged, "until I took an arrow to the knee,"

"Done like a boss, Kai," Misako remarked.

"I'm forever alone," Zane sobbed. "Who wants to buy my pie maker?"

"Shut **bloop** and take my money!" Lloyd exclaimed.

"You mad bro?" Sensei asked.

"Ain't nobody got no time for that," Nya shook her head.

"Y u no love me?" Jay whined.

"O RLY?" the falcon inquired.

"YA RLY!" Sensei said.

"NO WAI!" Mezmo screamed.

"All your base are belong to me in your face," Cole laughed evilly.

"It's over nine THOUSAAAAND!" Lord Garmadon shrieked, bursting in through the door.

"You don't always have dark lords busting in through your door," Kai muttered, "but when they do, it's at completely random times."

"Am I the only one around here who can dance decently in your face?" Cole asked, getting a machine gun out of nowhere and shooting Garmadon with it.

"So you're telling me," Nya said sceptically, "that dancing is a hobby here?"

"This is SPARTAAA!" Zane shouted and fell backwards.

"I can haz cake in your face?" Cole smiled.

"Oh, so you like sweet bread-like baked desserts?" Lord G asked. "Tell me more about how you like gaining weight,"

"I THOUGHT I BLASTED YOU IN YOUR FACE!" Cole screamed, blasting him again. Garmadon flew out the window and conveniently landed on a nice, soft pile of porcupines and cupcakes.

"Thanks for not killing him," Lloyd sighed. "If you had, you would have really **bleeped** up my destiny."

"Don't mention it in your face," Cole smirked.

"So...no more memes?" Jay asked.

"Yeah, that's boring. Plus the writer ran out of memes. Let's do something else." Kai said.

"Let's act as the Links from the Four Swords at camp video," Jay suggested. "I'll be blue."

"I'm RED! AHAHAHAHA!" Kai laughed.

"Ehh, I guess I'm the evil one?" Cole asked. "In your face!"

"I can be the girly one," Nya sighed.

"I'll be the **boop** one," Lloyd said.

"I'll be the unwelcome one," Zane said.

**_Okay before you read this next part, imagine the ninja and everyone else wearing what those Links are wearing, respectively. And imagine them in the campsite, where they're supposed to be. :D If you haven't watched that video, go watch it NAO! Just type in "Four Swords Camp" and click the first one. Or second. Any._**

**_START!_**

"Okay guys, did you finish setting up camp?" Nya asked, flipping her hair.

"I set up the tent...over there...so I can sleep..." Jay droned.

"Heh. The fire's started! Hehe, burn! BURN!" Kai yelled.

"Okay...well I got the clothes all washed and hung up to dry, and I even embroidered our initials onto the chest! It's just faaaabulous!" Nya swooned.

"Gosh, I wonder what Gannin's up to," Lloyd said derpily.

"You never wonder that because you don't THINK!" Kai roared in his ear, blowing his hat off.

Zane caught it and said indignantly, "Well excuuuuse me, Princes—"

"YOU'RE NOT WELCOME HERE!" Kai screamed.

"Hey...what about this guy..?" Jay asked, jabbing a thumb at Cole.

"I'LL GET YOU GADGETS," Cole hissed raspily. "IN YOUR FACE!"

"The end!" Misako cheered.

**And Lloyd never got his bananas. :P**

**Lloyd: D:**

**Me: Please vote in the poll! Thanks! :)**


	7. Chapter 7: I Like It Like That!

**Me: I like cheese.**

**Kai: I hate peas.**

**Jay: I like knees in seas with bees.**

**Cole: ...What?**

**Zane: Hello! I'm a decent meal! :D**

**Lloyd: O_O**

**Me: I'm eating pasta, pasta and eggs.**

**Lord G: Review!**

**Cole: GO THE BLIZ AWAY! Geez, I blasted you like TWICE already! D:**

"Zane, what's my name?" the falcon asked one day.

Zane shrugged. "I do not know. Perhaps my friends would like to choose—"

"FIREBALL!" Kai interrupted.

"BOLT!" Jay yelled.

"MUDPIE!" Cole cried.

"...Donut?" Lloyd tried.

"Donut it is!" Zane declared.

"Awww," the four elemental ninja whined.

**_NOTE: You shouldn't read this next part unless you want to listen to me ranting and wallowing in self-pity. :P_**

Just then, a wild author appeared! She had long brown hair and black eyes, and wore white spectacles. She wore a waffle shirt and blue jeans with red sneakers.

"Hey look it's the author, Waffle," Kai remarked.

Waffle looked up and sighed. "Hey guys,"

"What's wrong?" Jay asked.

"I feel talentless," she stated. "I don't know what I'm going to do with my life,"

"Don't say that, Wafs," Cole said. "You're great at writing, and quite good at drawing! Even your friends say so!"

"My drawings apparently suck," Waffle answered with a groan, "so I'm ditching that idea. And for writing...what if I don't have the inspiration or the imagination? What if my stories end up being pooploads of rubbish?"

"If you keep thinking that way, maybe they will," Zane smiled reassuringly.

"Yeah girl, don't get yourself down. You're only 12 going on 13! Still got about 6 years until you need a career!" Donut added.

The girl's gaze shifted between each of the ninja. "Thanks guys," she said quietly. "I appreciate your encouragements,"

"This might be the most unfunny chapter in this story," Lloyd noted.

"Yeah, since in addition to feeling like crap, the author has slight writer's block," Kai said.

Waffle stood up and ran a hand through her hair. "Sorry guys, but this chapter's gonna end here. I just needed an outlet for my emotions. Flame on this if you want, I don't really care. Yeah..."

Kai put a hand on her shoulder. "Don't feel bad, this story is all about randomness and stupidity."

Cole shrugged. "Besides, I'm sure the readers will understand." He looked into the camera. "Even though the author says flames are okay, please don't, kay? She's just...not in the right state of mind..."

"I am too!" Waffle pouted.

"Anyway...I'm probably gonna post a chapter immediately after this. Like a package thing. A lame one plus a normal one." she continued. "Sorry for wasting your time, dear readers. Hopefully the next chapter will be funnier."

"Don't hate!" Jay cried.

"Review!" Nya added.

"BYE!" Kai yelled.

* * *

**_NOTE: Yeah. You can start reading now._**

"Nah, that's not the end," Waffle laughed.

"She's got over that phase of her day..." Kai whispered, rocking back and forth, hugging his knees to his chest. A set of headphones had slid down to his neck and there was a laptop lying closed in front of him.

"Uh, what did you do to him?" Jay asked.

"Oh nothing..." Waffle smirked. "Just showed him some...stuff...with some music..."

Cole opened the laptop and read, "Lavender Town Creepypasta,"

"Lavender Town...scary..." Kai whimpered. "Bloody girls...the ghost..."

"Aw Kai, they're all fake, nothing to be afraid of," Lloyd grinned, pushing Kai over. The fire ninja squeaked and dropped to the ground before jumping up promptly.

"POKEMON!" he screamed and scratched his head. "Yeah, I'm done."

"Good," Waffle said, "because the craziness is gonna start soon."

"Oh great," Cole groaned.

Suddenly Zane walked away, revealing Slender Man behind him. Everyone gasped.

"OH GAWSH THAT'S WORSE THAN LAVENDER TOWN!" Kai screamed and sped off.

"MY VISION IS SCREWING UP!" Jay shrieked and took off after Kai.

"HE'S GONNA KILL US ALL!" Cole yelled, following them.

Lloyd stared at Slendy. "Really?"

Slender Man shrugged. Tentacles exploded from his back and he jumped out of the Bounty to stalk people.

Donut and Lloyd exchanged glances. "Okay, that was really random, but meh," Donut commented.

"Yeah," Lloyd scratched his head.

Just then Nya came into the room. "Anybody seen Slender Man? He wanted to borrow some sugar," she said.

"He just jumped out the window," Zane said, pointing to the window which was broken.

"Thanks," Nya replied before jumping out as well.

"DESTROY!" Donut screamed before flying away.

"Donut! NOOOOOOO!" Zane cried.

* * *

**_Later...lol_**

Zane was meditating in the bedroom. Kai and Lloyd were playing video games with the melting TV. Jay was doing whatever it is he was doing. Cole was cooking.

Slender Man returned to Zane's bedroom and knocked on the door.

"Hello, Slender Man. What brings you here this fine day?" Zane asked.

Slender Man remained expressionless as he didn't have a face. He sprayed some temporary mind-erasing gas in Zane's face and the nindroid collapsed. Then Slendy disappeared.

**_Soon after..._**

"I made Violet Berry Soup!" Cole cheered, holding out a steaming bowl of dark reddish liquid that swished around.

Kai twitched and Jay's eyes widened. "Uhh...I think I'll pass, thank you," Kai said quickly.

"Aww come on! You gotta try some, since Lloyd messed it up the last time I made it," Cole whined.

"I wish he did again," Jay muttered under his breath. Kai nodded in agreement.

Just then Zane walked by looking extremely blur. His eyes brightened at the sight of the soup. "Can I have some?" he asked Cole.

Cole nodded eagerly. "Take some,"

Zane grabbed a spoon, scooped up some of the soup and dr—

-BEEEEEEEEEP-

We regret to inform you that this chapter has been cut short (again) due to extremely visual images of Zane throwing up, malfunctioning and having diarrhoea. Thank you for reading and we apologise for any inconvenience caused.

**I feel bad for Zane. XD The ending was inspired by a roleplay between me and TheOrbofFire! :D Thanks for reading this poop, review, and bye!**


	8. Chapter 8: Kai's Birthday

**It was a QUIET! and PEACEFUL! day. The sun had just begun to rise over the mountaintops, casting a WARM ORANGE! glow over the SLEEPING! city of Ninjago.**

"...Jay. Stop with the narrating,"

**But I like it...it's FUN!**

"JAY! That is my job, and my job only. Now get off the author seat. Or die."

**I hate you, Waffle.**

"You don't mean that."

*shifting of positions*

"Mind telling me why Zane is playing the banjo?"

"He's just practicing, Lloyd. Now shut up and get ready to sing."

"But if I shut up, how can I—"

"JUST DO IT!"

"Ooh, Nike slogan!"

**Me: Hey guys, and welcome to another chapter of Odd Situations! :D Where Jay fights for the author notes, Zane plays the banjo and Cole gets bossy!**

**Cole: I AM NOT BOSSY!**

**Lloyd: Riiiiight. -.-**

**Zane: *plays banjo***

**Me: Hope you guys smile, and remember to smile at somebody today! A smirk, a laugh, or a sadistic one, it DOESN'T MATTER! If it's a smile, it's good!**

**Jay: Dude, that is the WEAKEST! motto ever.**

**Kai: YOU GOT THAT RIGHT JOEY!**

**Jay: ...Close enough.**

**Donut the Amazing Falcon: Review!**

**Me: Oh yeah, before you read this, go listen to the Happy Birthday Song by Adam Sandler. The tune should get you going. :3**

It was a quiet and peaceful day. The sun had just begun to rise over the mountaintops, casting a warm orange glow over the sleeping city of Ninjago.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY STUPID FLAMING BALL OF MEAT!" Cole screamed, completely busting down the door of the ninja's bedroom.

Kai's eyes flew open and he shot up in bed. "SPAGHETTI! Oh wait it's just you. It's my birthday?"

"Durrrrrrrh," Jay called, strolling in. He held up a picture of a derp face. "You just got derped yo!"

"Good to know," Kai grumbled as he stared down at them. He smirked. "Any presents for me?"

"Well we do have one," Cole stated. He looked towards the door. "HIT IT GUYS!"

Zane jumped in, strumming a banjo madly. Lloyd sprinted in soon after, holding a microphone. He smiled stupidly at Kai and began singing.

_"Once a year we celebrate_

_With stupid hats and plastic plates_

_The fact that you were able to make a trip around the sun,"_

"GASP!" Cole, Jay and Zane gasped.

_"Then the whole planet gathers round_

_And gifts and laughter do abound_

_And we let out a joyful sound and sing that stupid song!"_

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Jay and Cole chorused.

_"Now you're one year older,"_

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

_"Your life still isn't over!"_

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

_"You didn't accomplish much_

_But you didn't die this year I guess that's good enough,"_

Kai made a "WTH" face, but he nodded, motioning for Lloyd to carry on.

Zane strummed the banjo frantically with a stupid grin plastered on his face. It was his turn to sing.

_"So lets drink to your fading health_

_And hope you don't remind yourself_

_Your chance of finding fame and wealth decrease with every year,"_

"GASP!"

_"Does it feel like your doing laps_

_And eating food_

_And taking naps,_

_And hoping that some day perhaps your life will hold some cheer,"_

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

_"What have you done that matters?"_

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

_"You're starting to get fatter,"_

"HEY!" Kai yelled.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Cole and Jay continued, completely ignoring the fire ninja.

_"It's downhill from now on_

_Try not to remind yourself your best years are all gone!"_

Kai facepalmed. "Who's freakin' idea was this?"

"Sensei's!" Jay laughed. "Shut up and listen!"

Lloyd began to sing again.

_"If cryogenics were all free_

_Then you could live like Walt Disney_

_And live for all eternity inside a block of ice,"_

"GASP!"

_"But instead your time is set_

_This is the only life you get_

_And though it hasn't ended yet some times you wish it might!"_

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

_"You wish you had more money,"_

"Kinda..."

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

_"Your life's so sad it's funny!"_

"..."

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

_"How much more can you take?_

_But your friends are hungry so just cut the stupid cake!"_

A chocolate cake came crashing down from the ceiling onto Kai's head, splattering his spiky hair with cake. "AGH!" The hair-eating monkeys burst into the room through the window and began chewing his hair.

Of course, everyone ignored that.

_"Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, deeeeeeeeeeear..."_

Kai had had enough. He grabbed the monkey and flung it at Lloyd's face. The brown-haired banana-killing mammal screeched in rage and tore at the green ninja's hair, finding no sort of sweet delicacy on it.

"AAAAAAAAAGH!" Lloyd screamed and fell backwards onto Zane.

"Screw this! I'm going to take a shower!" Kai yelled and fled from the room.

Jay and Cole stared at the mess of green, white and brown on the floor with total derp faces.

Heat Haze Days began playing randomly in the background.

"Well that was anti-climatic," Jay said.

"You think?" Cole raised an eyebrow.

"I love pudding!" the monkey cried and dropped dead at the chorus of the song.

"WHAT THE BLIP GUYS! Y U NO HELP ME!" Lloyd whined.

"Like a boss," Zane muttered.

"Because we're total idiots—OW!" Jay yelled as Sensei appeared out of nowhere and pulled his ear. "What was that for!?"

"Ninja are not idiots," the old man said.

"But the question is, are idiots ninja?" Cole asked.

A moment of silence was observed as everyone pondered this before saying simultaneously, "NAH!"

"Of course, the question is to be or not to be!" Lloyd said brightly.

"So...this chapter was pretty pointless wasn't it?" Jay shrugged.

"FOURTH WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLL BREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAKING!" Cole burst out screaming and crashed through the window _again_ into Marshmallow Land which suddenly changed to Cheesecake Land.

"Who cares!?" Lloyd yelled back. "This whole story is about crap and useless things! What did you expect, an overdramatic story with super awesome vocabulary, sentence structure and an amazingly wonderful and creative plot?"

"Pretty much,"

Lloyd got up and pushed Jay out of the hole Cole had made in the wall. "Still expecting it?"

"YEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeesssss..." Jay's shout got softer as he fell down to Cheesecake Land where Cole was overdosing on freakishly huge amounts of the dessert.

Kai then walked into the room, rubbing his hair with a towel. "What did I miss?"

"Not much really," Zane shrugged.

"Happy Birthday," Sensei said and threw a cup of tea at Kai, drenching his upper body with scalding liquid.

"I JUST WASHED THAT! GAAAAAAHH SENSEI!"

"TOO BAD YOU FLAMING BALL OF AWESOMENESS!"

"I think you mean idiocy, Uncle?"

"...Oh yeah,"

"I hate you all."

**XD Oh my gosh Kai...I am SO sorry for humiliating you and making everyone call you an idiot multiple times but I really couldn't think of anything else. Plus it seems a few of us are Kai haters, so if you are, this is for you! Don't get me wrong, I LOVE Kai and the others. :3 Yes you heard me, I love that flaming ball of idiotic awesomeness. :D He's so awesome. Not love as in romantically, but just loving and caring, you know? Like if he's sad I feel sad, if he's pissed I get pissed, and frankly, if he was real, I'd love to be friends with him. Heck, wouldn't it be so flippin' amazing if the ninja were all real!? Cole the dancer, Jay the joker, Kai the hothead, Zane the cool one, and Lloyd the adorable one X3 And Nya! ALDJNFEJEHXHDBEJFJNC *spazzes***

**Quick note, I don't own the song used in this. It's the Happy Birthday song, sung by Adam Sandler. As I've already said. Fine, I'll be quiet now. Bye.**


End file.
